Needed some inspiration so I posted this to Facebook and Twitter:

Let me get that Gauntlet for you, Mr. DeMarco. Challenge accepted.

Let’s talk about Chinchillas and how they’re destroying the world.

Fact: Chinchillas are adorable.

More specifically, the Chinchilla Lanigera is adorable. It’s the species that you think of when you hear the word Chinchilla.

But what you probably didn’t know is that there are two additional Chinchilla species: Chinchilla Brevicaudata and the Giant Chinchilla. However, unlike their fortunately beautiful cousin, The Giant breed is extinct and Brevicaudata is endangered. Hunted to the brink of extinction; likely for their dense pelts (Fact: Chinchillas sprout 60 hairs from a single follicle). Why are they dead and the Lanigera is thriving as a cultural icon of rodent cuteness? Humans.

In nature the Chinchilla is a “Mangy ground squirrel.”  But the Lanigera are nothing if not opportunists, capitalizing on their natural gifts. Their success is due to our intervention, our irresistible draw to things with soft fur, disproportionately large ears and a naturally inquisitive nature. True initially we continued to kill them for their luxurious coats. But that farming was a double edged sword, and the key to their advancement. Farming led to breeding and breeding led to the genetically engineered cute machines you know and love today. Conversely, today, the Brevi looks like a groundhog or maybe an awkward gopher.

Note: This is unlike the slothful Panda, who is naturally adorable thanks to their giant heads which are in turn thanks to their diet of bamboo.

Now the Lanigera are making their next move. Working through back channels, they are driving to abolish the farming of Chinchilla for their luxurious pelts. “Too Long!” they cry “Too long have we been fed to the jaws of the efficient death machines of the Humans, swallowing our kings whole and spitting out delicate fur covered trinkets.” And their tools for this move, our own love of a cuteness we bestowed upon them.

This is a master stroke by the Lanigera. Not only will it allow their numbers do explode due to the opening of the ranches (i.e. chinchilla concentration camps) but it keeps the downtrodden Brevicaudata from achieving a similar success through our “cute breeding” eugenics programs. It is not widely known that the Lanigera and the Brevicaudata are mortal enemies and have battled for millennia over the favor and love of their ancient Chinchilla God.  This is an epic reverse Morlok and Eloi battle going on under our noses.

Mark my words: this is only the beginning. After their Brevicaudata nemesis is destroyed where do you think the Lanigera will turn their vengeful attention next? That’s right, their only other natural enemy, and the creator of their unnatural and appalling cuteness: Man. Now safe and protected, in supposed captivity with unrestricted access to human technology, it is only a matter of time.

Chinchillas: Harbingers of Doom

“Behold Humans, we have mastered your customs and your feeble hat technology!” ~Future Chinchilla Overlords

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Barnes and Nobel have released the Nook reader as a direct competitor to the Kindle. Here’s why I’m psyched about this. But don’t get too amped about devices because this is a market oriented psyched.

First and most obvious, direct competition is going to lead to lower prices. Even now The Nook at $259 has pushed the Kindle down to the same price: a 13% drop from its July price of $300. Lower prices will lead to adoption by a more main stream consumer base. A larger market will mean better financial incentive for publishers to put eBooks out and thus reinforcing the appeal of an eBook reader. This is the way markets and competition work guys. If you look back you’ll see a similar, albeit slower, progress with music and the iPod. It’s not news. It’s just awesome.

The second interesting development is the more “open source” nature of the eBooks model that Barnes & Noble are going to be operating. They are already supporting their eBooks on other platforms (Blackberry, PCs, even the iPhone) and will support other non-B&N Readers in the future.

Here’s the principle that Amazon, as the first to market, couldn’t commit to: the Reader isn’t where you make your profits. You give away the razors and sell the blades. Or in this case cheap readers that allow users to buy high margin books at 10-15 bucks a pop. This is a tested and proven business model; just go ask Gillett how it’s working for them.

Third point: With the B&N eBooks you can lend them to a friend one time for up to 14 days and while doing so you can’t read the books on your device. It’s essentially closing some of the differentiation gap between physical books and eBooks. I like where their heads are at, but I think the “one loan” deal might be an unneeded constraint that I hope gets repealed.

Finally, this whole thing is huge for small authors. It’s probably not widely known but, with just a little formatting, anyone can publish to Kindle/Amazon. With a larger consumer base and other outlets, I see the contract terms for sales getting much more favorable for authors of all sizes and the tools for formatting getting stream lined.

So am I psyched that Barnes and Nobel released the Nook? Absolutely. Am I going to buy one? Hell no. Not yet anyway.

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Paul Krugman on the state of the banks and where we can go from here.

My Commentary:

After years of “wrong living”, the financial system was on its death bed and like any good child we spared no expense to keep it alive.

But now it’s back, well, standing at least. But it’s a 65 year old retiree with gold chains and a velour jump suit. It looks good but it’s not doing any work, at least nothing that benefits anyone but itself. The glamorous and flashy aspects are up, but it’s not doing its fundamental job very well.

Like anyone who is old and stuck in their ways, the Banking industry will fight reform tooth and nail. “Vegetables and exercise? How about I just do that diet where I only eat Filet Mignon?”

Long story short, reform has to happen now. Forcing open lending will stimulate small businesses and thus the larger economy and, hopefully, build a virtuous cycle. If not, it’s back to the hospital, or in this case, 15 years of slow growth before we’re out of this mess.

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